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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?